100 Words – Flight

[100 Words is a story in 100 words or less, based off the word in the title.]

As a child, I wished to be a bird. As a bird, I could fly free high in the sky. I wouldn’t have to worry about tests, or exams, or anything else.

But, then I knew I was still human, and I could only watch the birds flying high in the sky. I wished, I wished so hard to follow them.

But humans were not supposed to fly, not free as a bird. They stayed on the ground, only to watch from below.

Forever trapped.

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On Writing – Sunshine

Trying to think of happy things every night before I go to sleep has been a ritual that started many years ago when I needed something, anything, to break through the fog of crap that encircled my brain, holding it hostage.

Now, I don’t need that list so much. I still do it, out of habit, but I don’t need it like I once did. I’ve realised that as I’ve come to accept the more distasteful memories and haunted echoes inside my mind, I’ve become more settled in the present.

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100 Words – Grief

[100 Words is a story in 100 words or less, based off the word in the title.]

The worst part is accepting the reality of the situation. That you cannot change it no matter how much you will it, that you are stuck with it even if your mind tries so damn hard to create fantasies where it didn’t happen.

And then there is the flip side to the happy fantasies. The sad fantasies, the ones where you cannot see the light and joy in the world, but you see what is lacking. What lacked for you. You see it being repeated, again and again, with no way to stop it.

You didn’t stop it last time, how can you stop it again?

You can’t.

100 Words – Laughter

[100 Words is a story in 100 words or less, based off the word in the title.]

The sound of people connecting, not with words but pure emotion. An experience shared, embellished by the sounds of others joining in.

A moment, a brief moment, when the world stops and you forget anything other than to just laugh.

And then it goes, like fog on a winter’s morning.

100 Words – Purpose

[100 Words is a story in 100 words or less, based off the word in the title.]

People spend years seeking purpose in their life.

A pointless exercise, in Mathla’s opinion. You either killed, or were killed. That was simply the way of doing things.

She had always ensured she was the one who did the killing. That was until her limbs became old, and her hair turned grey, and her skin wilted like a dying flower.

She pulled the cork from the vial of poison and downed the contents in one.

She would always be the one doing the killing, no one else.

100 Words – Lost

[100 Words is a story in 100 words or less, based off the word in the title.]

There is no defined point when you become lost. It is more of a dawning realisation that the place you are in does not seem familiar. That the trees and the grass and the roads are not what you expected.

If you were to pick a moment that really means to be lost, it is the moment of panic. The moment when you realise that there is nothing you know. Nothing to comfort you.

Nothing to tell you everything will be all right.

Teacup Story – Blank Page

Blank Page – Casey had no idea what she was going to write about today. Everything was too raw. (Rating: PG, Genre: General)

Casey stared at the blank page of her diary, pen tapping against the page impatiently.

There was stuff she wanted to write. She could feel it in her thoughts, they had been rummaging around her brain for days, wanting to be released onto the cold comfort of the thick pages of her diary.

But where to start?

Did she start with Carol dumping her? Or did she start with the hurt that she felt in her chest? Or the memories of that first date with Carol, almost three months ago.

No, she thought. She could feel the pain, it was too raw, to much to try and face. To write it down would be to have to look it head on and admit that she had screwed up. Both of them had, really. It wasn’t a case of blame, just a case of two people who wanted two different things in life.

Carol wanted to succeed. She wanted to do business, be the next CEO of five top FTSE companies and have a successful career as a business lecturer to boot.

And Casey?

I don’t know, she thought, pen scrawling a doodle across the page. There were pages like this, where she didn’t know what to write so she just let her thoughts spin out as her pen danced across the page.

She drew a vortex, swirling out of the centre of the page. It was filled with thick black biro, dark and heavy, indenting the page with her heavy hand.

“I don’t know,” she sighed, resting her pen on her page.

At the end of the vortex was a tiny pinprick of white page left against a background of black biro. The light at the end of the tunnel.

I don’t know, she thought, colouring in the last piece of white paper, I don’t know what I want to do.

100 Words – Sea

[100 Words is a story in 100 words or less, based off the word in the title.]

Not an azure blue, but a shifting blue. Dark patches where the wind blows across the surface which stretches out far into the horizon. Lighter patches which move like snakes as the current pulls the water into the shallows and then out into the deeper ocean. Waves rippling the surface of the ocean, lapping gently against the shore. Peaceful.